1/11/09 Mitzi discovers tv

For some reason, our cat had never noticed tv, until 1/11/09. Then she stood in front of the tv for like 30 minutes, giving us the opportunity to make her our own LOLcat.

Will work for chicken

Once I was coming home to San Antonio from South Padre, where my mom always loaded me up with food.
There was a guy on the freeway exit ramp with a “will work for food” sign.
I gave him a chicken. A home-smoked whole chicken.
For some reason I had to go around the block again and he had stashed it under a bush and was back in position.
It didn’t seem odd then, but now the fact that I gave him a chicken makes me giggle.
I wonder what the people in the car behind me thought?

Weather

The Weathertainment is in full swing. For the love of Mike, it is January in Ohio, If it was raining frogs, that would be news. We have had some interesting precipitation lately. I hear that Eskimos have like 300 words for snow (67% of all statistics are made up on the spot!), but I wonder if they use "Slurpee".

XMas

For Xmas, I officially got everything I want. I am caught up on material things. Mr S got me the GPS I wanted and his folks, crazy generous as they are, gifted us enough scratch to buy new phones. Cue Mormon Tabernacle Choir, because hallelujah I got my iPhone. I have craved one for years. What kept me from my Precious is the fact that I was mistaken in that AT&T didn't provide a corporate discount like Verizon that AT&T had displeased me greatly as a customer in the past. But come on, 5 years is long enough. I tried very much to like the Storm, but it was clunky and ...not an iPhone. We're still in the transition period since we have 5 days left on our V contract, but I already use it for so much. Like video games. Nothing like picking up a new teenage habit at 39. I expect to start smoking weed any day now. I love Urbanspoon, Wikitap, Tap Tap, Topple, Boomshine and I haven't even made it through many of the free apps. Ahh. One Phone to rule them all.

Oh my sides hurt. Stop making me laugh!

A while ago, a viral video went around showing Cagney and Lacey on this British talk show, Graham Norton. The video was pretty funny, if juvenile, and I forgot about it. I was browsing through our 6000 channels and stopped at BBC America. Saw his show listed., Thought what the heck, I'll watch this. Hooked. Absolutely smitten. GN is this adorable and funny man and the show usually has one famous American and a Brit comediam or actor, always entertaining, and a lesser-known-in-the-US musical guest. The funny part is actors and musicians from the US go on the show and don't realize it is silly, raucous, irreverent and uncensored like in the US. My first whole show was Jackie Chan. JC was funny without really trying. Robin Williams was a scream. It seemed he was delighted to be able to "open it up" comedically again. Brendan Frasier was absolutely baked, but he apparently is a very good at being funny while trashed because the stories he told about monkey self-fulfillment had me in tears. The last show, all I can remember is Lego Baby Jesus Circumcision. Many videos on the website.

Flotsam

Went to the Olde Towne Easte Toure Ofe Homese with D. I like these home tours. See some interesting homes, meet some nice folks, get a little exercise. Other touristas can be kinda dickish though.
We decided to grab a bite to eat, but D wanted soup and I wanted sushi. Whole Foods to the rescue. While we were there, I asked D about Greek yogurt because I'd seen it around but didn't know what made it different, aside from some obvious jokes. She said it was "like real food", unlike the $0.59 dannon crep they sell. I bought a couple varieties and the next morning I not only had a new favorite breakfast food, but I also would never eat the other stuff again. My fave now is a bowl of fruit with a couple scoops of yogurt and some Splenda brown sugar. Absolutely delish. Plus buying it by the pint is a lot cheaper. One exception to the yum is Trader Joe's little Greek Style Nonfat, not very good. I like Fage, all varieties and TJ 2%. Occasionally I, oops, grab the not-lowfat version, which is nirvana in a tub.

Shitstorm revisited

Update on the sky falling:

Truck no biggie.

Housejacking went off without a problem. Had to go down 33 feet to find solid ground. Very exciting to come home to no front steps and a 5-foot moat across the entire front of the house.

Door replacement by Lowes was really good with a few minor kinks. Apparently people still really like brass hardware. I only had 2 storm doors to choose from because I wanted nickel. The installer comes, tears out the entire frame puts it all back together, very snugly. Looks tight with our newly-level entrance. He had to stop by to install a part that was not working as expected. A few days before he was due back, I looked up and noticed that they had installed brass hinges with the nickel door hardware. What? You've got to be kidding me. Kinda thought that would be understood and I was never consulted about hinges. To Lowes' credit, they said they'd send him with the correct ones and fix us right up. He showed up to compete and they were the wrong size, although the correct non-ugly color. We got a call from our salesperson that he would be stopping by to change the hinges. Guess they figured they guy who made the initial mistake would fix it. I was really impressed with the whole project and will definitely use them again. Plus there is the added bonus that I now have a "Project Card". And Mr S doesn't.

Thanks for the notice

Our holidays began with Father asking me if I would mind hosting Christmas. 2 days before. Of course I didn't have to go to any trouble. Fine. Burgers and chips it is!! Just kidding, turkey and the standard squishy food. MMM I could go for some stuffing right about now. Us, Dad and Grandma, with the added bonus that G-Ma always stays over so I get some good quality time with a fabulous Octogenarian. Everything turned out tasty and perfectly timed, so life was good. G-Ma also helps with dishes so that was covered too. They left to visit, Mr S went to work and I hit the couch with pjs and some Just Pies pumpkin pie, the best in all the land.

Urban Actively Pissing Me Off

Decided that the gym at work was too puny so I started looking at local fancy gyms. Urban Active is brand-new, the location is decent and they have a corporate discount so low $$.

Stopped in the preview center for one that hadn't opened yet and got the spiel. The girl wasn't making an immediate sale, so the guy came over like "I'm the musclebutt manager and she's just a girl". I wonder if they know how off-putting that is? I left with only a list of non-corporate prices and a tour of the ...picture of the gym. By the time I got home, the girl had called and said they did have a corporate membership. Could I come back in that night? Sorry, in general my home has a one-way door on weeknights. Once I'm home, I'm home.

Found out that the Gahanna location was already open and the corp membership was for all gyms so I could start up right away. Mr S and I went and told the saleguy that we just wanted a tour and we could skip the sales pitch. For once, they listened. A thing most gyms do is a "fitness assessment". Translation: sales pitch for personal trainers, of which they have an army. I meet this guy named Napoleon, um Terry. He sits me down, tells me how fat I am, asks me questions designed not to get info, but to humiliate me into paying for personal training sessions. He asked me what I hoped to gain from the session and I said I wanted him to show me how to use some of the machines safely. He said. And I quote: "You don't want to use the machines. You sit all day". I told him that I did indeed want to use the machines. He could show me 600 f&$king ball exercises and I wouldn't do one of them on my own. So then he proceeded to walk me through a workout made up entirely of ball exercises. A lovely bonus service was twice while he was "helping me up", he grunted as if under extreme stress from the sheer immensity of me. Totally out of proportion and after the 2nd time, I'm sure it was again intentional to shame me into a personal trainer. I then had to sit through him hard-selling me in to training, covering the spectrum of again ridiculing the magnitude of my girth to criticizing my income since I said I didn't want to pay. I did not purchase and the first thing I said to Mr S as we walked out the door was "I f%*king hate that guy!"

The following day, I called and asked to speak with the manager, with whom I had spoken at an NCH health fair. I told him about my experience. I was even nice. He said to come in the next morning and there was a person who could show me what I needed. That evening I got a call from Terry who said, while they do not train for free, he'd be happy to show me the machines. I said I'd prefer to work with someone else. he said he'd be happy to show me. I again said I'd prefer to work with somebody else. He asked why and I said I didn't feel particularly comfortable with him so I'd prefer to work with somebody else. He said we got along great. He'd be happy to work with me. 2 more times around this loop and he hung up saying "Fine. Come in at 6 tomorrow and you will work with somebody else!!!"  For the life of me I can't figure out why I was so nice to such an asshat. The next evening I got a call from the "manager" of the trainers. He said to call him because "His people don't train for free." So called the manager manager and explained that I was just going to let it drop because at this point I was really soured on the whole gym thing. He said "I don't know why it is such a big deal. It is such a simple request. I'll be here in the morning whenever you want and I'll train you myself". I showed up the next morning and he showed me exactly what I needed in 30 minutes, was very friendly and that was that. I think he missed training. He was really good at it. He saved a membership and I love the gym, as long as the only person I have to talk to is that nice Allen up front. And I'm getting some serious butt muscles and can find my waist again.

Reassessment

I have a huge amount of catching up to do but I wanted to throw this in before I forget.
I am rethinking the utility of Facebook and Twitter. My initial reaction was "Why do I care?"
But more and more I am beginning to realize that it is an even easier, more relaxed means of keeping up than email and I hate phones. It is passive. You just post what you want, read when you want and comment when you want. Another angle I hadn't considered is the "tracking down old (boy)friends" dimension. I am very content with my life and don't feel the need to add drama, but I am intrigued by this new networking.

Pros:
Satisfy curiosity
Satisfy curiosity
Satisfy curiosity

Cons:
Can't lurk on Facebook. Have to be accepted.
What if I am not accepted?
As I used to be psycho and was raised by wolves, do I really want to open any cans of worms?

Do I click the button?

13 Wasted...wha....?

Where the hell did college football season go?

For those about to rock

Mr S's birthday present was AC/Dc tickets, sold out at the Schott. When he received them, he was speechless, so I knew I picked the right show. We got to the show, grabbed a beer and took our seats, which were dead-center and perfect. The opening act, the Answer, from Belfast, Northern Ireland don't ya know, was good, although they had yet to adjust their show to such a large venue and used only about half the stage. The first thing that came to both our minds was: how did lead singers behave before Chris Robinson? Seriously. The music was good, loud and loud. A fundamental property was the vocals often blended indistinguishably form the guitar. I love when the vocals and lyrics are basically another instrument. The band was very personable and I really liked their nod to the OSU/Buckeye game. They went with simple: "We hear that you are big football fans. (cheer) By default, you like beer. (cheer) So I think we'll get along just fine (roar)". Contrast that with Bob Schneider's awkward salute a few years back, which went on for like 5 minutes and he didn't do a single thing that showed he knew what the hell he was talking about. While I understand you want to connect with your crowd, with Buckeyes you have 2 choices: polite nod to the crazy people or throw an "OH" and bust into Hang on Sloopy. Anything in the middle just annoys. Ferinstance, Barenaked Ladies came to town a while back and they always do something local, but well-researched. Theirs was an inspired tribute to Tim Horton's. Neck up or full monty, I say.

AC/DC started with a locomotive and fellatio-themed video thing. It was good for the effects, but as a woman, left a little to be desired. After that, the show was exactly as expected: Loud and full of standards. A generally good time. Unfortunately, I am too observant for my own good. Mr S was having the time of his life. He was dancing a lot. To his own drummer. Think Elaine from Seinfeld. It is one thing to dance like nobody is looking, but another to do it when with 20K of your closest friends. I was so happy to see he was having a great time. Until I looked  across the aisle and saw the teenagers laughing at him. 10 minutes later, I sat down for a moment and realized they were actually imitating him. He was their show. It went on for a song or two. I made eye contact with the little assholes and gave hem the best ojo I could muster. Knowing that my prime directive was to make sure Husband had a good time, I couldn't go over and dress them down appropriately. So I fumed in silence and did my best to ignore. I am really bad at ignoring. Next time looked, it appeared that someone made them aware they were being cruel, because they had stopped. I did not have an opportunity to slice their throats. The rest of the show passed according to plan (unless you take exception to Angus Young performing a striptease). The ears are still a'ringing.

I Heart TVMALSV

Why is it all my favorite shows are TVMALSV? I am not attracted to gratuitous violence and tv sex just makes me sad. I'm watching Sons of Anarchy right now. Love this show. They had me during the first episode with the Black Keys. Love the Black Keys. I find it kind of annoying that the person who gets top billing is Drea DeMatteo. She's fine and famous, but there are a bunch of good actors on this show, plus Hellboy. and the smoking hot boy who they have to grunge up because he is so pretty. Holy shit! I knew I'd seen him before. He was on Queer as Folk. Where all the pretty boys lived. I miss that show so much. Emmett was my fave. but I didn't like him when I saw him out of character. In both the bonus footage and the History Of Comedy, he was so bland. Must be a hard character to live up to. I love Dexter, especially the sister and the stuff in Dexter's mind. Kinda hate Girlfriend. She is whiny and ...ok...I'd like to look like her. But not act like her. Speaking of looking good, I have been exercising and eating very well. I've had 3 beers in 3 weeks. I stopped at Whole Foods because I love their rainbow roll. There is a woman there who hooks me up.I get a roll that is 50% larger than usual with extra wasabi and the fish is fresh fresh fresh. So the sushi bar is all the way in the back corner. I hate running the gauntlet. Wanna see inside my brain? ...mmm beer, meringues, freshly roasted nuts, cookies, pastries, tiramisu, piiiiiizzzzaaaaa, bread, bread, bread, croissant, sushi, samosa, tiramisu, rugalach, rugalach, rugalach, piiiiieeeee. OMG fresh air.

Husband's birthday is tomorrow. Means I get to go to dinner at Hickory House and not eat the meal I love. hhhmmmm sigh. I lucked out and the perfect gift jumped in my lap. I anticipate major excitement. I even think I haven't  given up the surprise. I have a bad habit of ruining the surprise, a tell if you will. Hope he is as excited as I think, otherwise I have to break out the mullet and the tube top for nothing.

One with the Borg

My mom and aunt made me feel like a tech loser last night because they're on Facebook and I'm not. add that to Wii envy and I feel rather inadequate. Since Facebook is free and Wii is not, at least I can take care of 1 of those., so I have joined.

Tab Benoit & Richmond

Went to see Tab Benoit at the Thirsty Ear with R&J. OMG. I am only a fan of the blues in a "vegetables are good for you" kinda way. I know without the blues, all the flavors of rock would not exist. That said, in reality I tend to find a live show of a blues act to be a little monotonous. Until Tab Benoit. What a show. Love the Thirsty Ear; good folks, no teeny boppers, good beer. Everything flowed nicely. He is an amazing guitarist and an interesting, entertaining guy. One minor distraction was the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about how he would look naked. That is one fine looking man.

I visited my brother and his family in Richmond, VA for a few days in August. They are so wonderful. My sister-in-law is a stay-at-home mom who won a repeated battle with breast cancer. She spends her time making sure she teaches my 12 yo niece about life, love and responsibility. My niece is a rather amazing kid herself. She is kind, funny and caring, as well as charming and beautiful. She is a model an actress and it was a little annoying that while I was there she received checks that added up to about twice my monthly salary. We went to the Richmond museum of art (worth the time, Faberge exhibit) as well as Petersburg, a battlefield town just south of Richmond. Had a nice lunch and spent 2 hours in a vintage clothing store playing dress-up. It was nice getting to spend that kind of time. We then went to D.C. for the weekend. I was soooo excited, as I had never been. My bro wanted to go to the Newseum, which was amazing. They had one of the towers form Checkpoint Charlie, the Magna Carta and M&N were able to make their own newscast. N was funny as she wouldn't let M get a word in. Showboater:). We went to see both Roosevelts' memorials. That night, we went hungry, exhausted and stressed to find dinner in Alexandria. We found this amazing tapas restaurant where we had some lovely tasty items. And wine. Thank god for wine. My niece and I shared a hotel room and it may have been my favorite part of my visit. She is such a great young person and not spastic like some kids. And she doesn't snore. Next day, we went to the castle at the Smithsonian. What a great story about how it was started. Then we went to the National Gallery. I loved seeing the originals of so many things I've seen in movies and tv. Plus, I love museum gift shops and theirs was the BEST EVER. Next, we went to lunch at the native American museum. I took home a Tanka bar made of buffalo and cranberries. I just ate it yesterday and it was really good. If they weren't $4 a pop, I'd buy more. We also went to the Lincoln memorial and Korean War memorial. Basically, I learned that I need to go back to see all the stuff I didn't know I wanted to see. On the way back, I saw something that I thought was mythical. Those of you who are fans of Stephanie Plum will know what I'm talking about:

Shitstorm

And then things got difficult. Our door became difficult to close. Then it was closed or open, but could not do both. Father brought over hit tools and chiseled the doorframe so it was again operational. I am so relieved nobody came and knocked on the door. How embarrassing. Then there was the crack in the drywall. Called the Basement Doctor. He diagnosed acute droopiness, sorta like foundational Bell's palsy. He quoted either $3800, $12800 or $15800. That is like saying you either have hiccups, diabetes or heart failure. He recommended a structural engineer. The structural engineer said our shrubbery was causing bowing, water draining to nowhere causing drooping and our neighbor's tree causing more bowing. Grrr. So, now we need to have our house jacked up and a new door installed. Custom size of course. Then Mr S's truck started bucking like a bronco on crack. At least we are healthy. Then I had 2 terrifying nosebleeds in 2 days. I do not get nosebleeds. Now, one of the disadvantages of having a medical background is you know all the scary things that can cause a symptom. Fortunately, it is now the weekend, we have the current batch-o-crap under control, so I think I should have my stress under wraps. Unless my Buckeyes lose to Penn State.

Warhol at Wexner

The Wexner Center on the OSU campus managed a biggie by landing the Warhol Exhibit. A and I met there for Thursday happy hour and culture. Normally, it is $8, but Thursdays are free. They also had a free guided tour, but I often find those are TMI. We puttered around the first room that had 3 movie screens set up showing his screen tests of various people cooler than I. Also, lots of Mick Jagger and Truman Capote. There were cubbies all along one wall that you could sit in and listen to interviews. The looong hallway up to the rest of the exhibit was lined with tv screens playing more interviews from during the Factory days. The next room had memorabilia and a couple pop icons like the Marilyn photo and soup cans. The most amazing feature of this room was they had about 15 movie screens set up with sound craftily projected into the immediate area with foam and speakers. No walls. It was amazing. Next was a room with 40+ tvs suspended back-to-back from the ceiling displaying loops of his series 15 minutes. I could spend days in there, I particularly liked the interview with John Waters. Finally, there was an installation called...uh...Silver Clouds or something. It was a room defined by hanging metallic rope. Within the room were a couple dozen metallic helium balloons and fans. You could walk in and move the balloons around. Not sure how to describe it, but it was like time was different. Movement was slow and smooth and exaggerated. I will probably go back before it closes. Also, Cameron Mitchell has a small cafe there where we had a glass of wine and a really good turkey panini.

Louisville v UConn

Mr S's pathologist in charge is fabulous. She gave us tickets to the Louisville/UConn football game in Louisville, complete with awesome parking! Perfect excuse to go to my favorite breakfast place in the world, Lynn's Paradise Cafe, and my favorite boutique, Regalo. I also have been on a quest to find the perfect throw pillows for my new sofa. I reallllllly like Marimekko, so was hoping to see some pillows in person. We stopped in Hyde Park in Cinci at a store that was listed as having them, but they only had one pillow. Rats! I did buy an awesome shirt, though. On to L-Ville. We stayed at the Galt House, Louisville's largest, oldest, oddest hotels. Since we Pricelined and got the room for $75, we were put in the weird room 2 doors down from the restaurant. It was clean and the ac like a rocket, so it was just fine, if quite dated. The tower portion of the hotel was a bizarre flashback to the 70's. Lotsa wood paneling. It was great for $75 though. Last time we were in town, we paid $65 for a crappy motel off the interstate. \So onto the game. 2 hours before the game and tailgating was just starting. Coming from OSU land, we start drinking the day before. On the subject of drinking, we were at the bar of the freakishly-popular Spaghetti Factory and there were a bunch of girls starting the night of a bachelorette party. They were having none of that namby-pamby Mich Ultra, appletini stuff. They ordered Beam and coke, Maker's Mark on the rocks and other hairy chest drinks. Noticed that everywhere we went. Serious drinking is alive and well. Lynn's was awesome. I had the wild mushroom scramble with cheese grits and biscuits with sorghum butter. Oh man, sounds so good.

Uncle!

Ok. Fine. Not a Canadian Hurricane! Our friend Ike had a strong showing here in Central Ohio. Trees down everywhere (we lost one of the previously-matching pair in front of our house) and huge percentage of Ohioans out of power. Got to see a lot of my neighbors. Tales of life without power were the topic of the day for many days. One of my co-workers had an electric-powered water pump from their well, so they also had no water. My biggest worry was I was on call. Kinda hard to be tech support when you are in the stone age. At least I still had a phone so I could call the vendor and had co-workers who still had power. So the power went off Sunday afternoon, food destroyed by Monday. I was doing coiffeur at work. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. I was in bed Thursday, reading by flashlight, when I heard what I thought was a generator. I though "great, now I won't even be able to sleep with the windows open". Then I heard shouting, which was really cheering. Then saw the bathroom light was on!!! I added to the cheering. I was truly impressed by how much help was offered by those with power. Nice to see folks helping out like that.

Canadian Hurricane

(Ike)

So I'm watching Hurricane Ike coverage because I can't help it. There are a couple of things that keep going through my mind:

Windy Breezehair and Jock Winters from the Weather Channel, who have the camera on them for waaaay too much time(ok, because people like me keep watching), have this tick, like "um" or "like". They end every sentence with "as well", no matter what. Especially annoying is the combination with "also". The mantra: "just keep talking".

There were a bunch of people in areas in the direct path who chose to ride it out, in spite of evidence that the hurricane was going to be a doozy, with probable loss of life. First, people are too attached to their "stuff". Really, I do not have a single "thing" that I would give my life for. Plus, the stuff will be destroyed anyway, with the added bonus that they get to go with it. Second, it is another sign that the US continues on its path to an intellectual dark ages. People will completely disregard scientific evidence that there is a good chance that they could die because "the last hurricane wasn't as bad as they said it would be" or "God will protect me". You know what? I'm pretty sure your God would kick you in the  ass for ignoring the evidence presented. Finally, deciding to ride it our seems astoundingly selfish, because these same people who decided to ride it out are the same people more than willing to call 911 and put rescue personnel in danger. They will be the same ones criticizing emergency personnel for not responding quickly enough.

Finally, POTUS decided he'd better actually acknowledge this disaster sooner than Katrina. You know he had to bring up oil.

For the folks who did evacuate, it must be amazingly awful to watch the coverage, wondering if you will have a home ot return to. Good thoughts go out to them.