Decided that the gym at work was too puny so I started looking at local fancy gyms. Urban Active is brand-new, the location is decent and they have a corporate discount so low $$.
Stopped in the preview center for one that hadn't opened yet and got the spiel. The girl wasn't making an immediate sale, so the guy came over like "I'm the musclebutt manager and she's just a girl". I wonder if they know how off-putting that is? I left with only a list of non-corporate prices and a tour of the ...picture of the gym. By the time I got home, the girl had called and said they did have a corporate membership. Could I come back in that night? Sorry, in general my home has a one-way door on weeknights. Once I'm home, I'm home.
Found out that the Gahanna location was already open and the corp membership was for all gyms so I could start up right away. Mr S and I went and told the saleguy that we just wanted a tour and we could skip the sales pitch. For once, they listened. A thing most gyms do is a "fitness assessment". Translation: sales pitch for personal trainers, of which they have an army. I meet this guy named Napoleon, um Terry. He sits me down, tells me how fat I am, asks me questions designed not to get info, but to humiliate me into paying for personal training sessions. He asked me what I hoped to gain from the session and I said I wanted him to show me how to use some of the machines safely. He said. And I quote: "You don't want to use the machines. You sit all day". I told him that I did indeed want to use the machines. He could show me 600 f&$king ball exercises and I wouldn't do one of them on my own. So then he proceeded to walk me through a workout made up entirely of ball exercises. A lovely bonus service was twice while he was "helping me up", he grunted as if under extreme stress from the sheer immensity of me. Totally out of proportion and after the 2nd time, I'm sure it was again intentional to shame me into a personal trainer. I then had to sit through him hard-selling me in to training, covering the spectrum of again ridiculing the magnitude of my girth to criticizing my income since I said I didn't want to pay. I did not purchase and the first thing I said to Mr S as we walked out the door was "I f%*king hate that guy!"
The following day, I called and asked to speak with the manager, with whom I had spoken at an NCH health fair. I told him about my experience. I was even nice. He said to come in the next morning and there was a person who could show me what I needed. That evening I got a call from Terry who said, while they do not train for free, he'd be happy to show me the machines. I said I'd prefer to work with someone else. he said he'd be happy to show me. I again said I'd prefer to work with somebody else. He asked why and I said I didn't feel particularly comfortable with him so I'd prefer to work with somebody else. He said we got along great. He'd be happy to work with me. 2 more times around this loop and he hung up saying "Fine. Come in at 6 tomorrow and you will work with somebody else!!!" For the life of me I can't figure out why I was so nice to such an asshat. The next evening I got a call from the "manager" of the trainers. He said to call him because "His people don't train for free." So called the manager manager and explained that I was just going to let it drop because at this point I was really soured on the whole gym thing. He said "I don't know why it is such a big deal. It is such a simple request. I'll be here in the morning whenever you want and I'll train you myself". I showed up the next morning and he showed me exactly what I needed in 30 minutes, was very friendly and that was that. I think he missed training. He was really good at it. He saved a membership and I love the gym, as long as the only person I have to talk to is that nice Allen up front. And I'm getting some serious butt muscles and can find my waist again.
